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It was a Sunday like any Sunday. After working the baby room , I picked up my kids and went to worship. I was feeling pretty good about the fact that I was serving and had not missed a Sunday since we had been in our new building (all by a schedule that I picked).  Ok, let’s just call it like it is, I was prideful.  Proverbs says, “Pride goeth before the fall.” Well listen for the splat because it didn’t take long.

Worship went off without a hitch, the music was great.  Then came the prayer and altar time.  A lady came and knelt down front.  I think she was crying but it wasn’t very noticeable.  Yes, my eyes were open and regardless of the motive of my eyes being open, God decided to make use of the moment.  So he whispered, “Go pray with her.”  So I thought I would close my eyes and pray about whether or not I should go pray with her.  I know – stupid right? Well, I finally quit arguing with myself and with God and decided yes, I would go pray with her.  So I opened my eyes to go pray with her and my good friend was already kneeling beside her praying.  SPLAT!

The lesson for me that day was that God doesn’t need me at all to do his work.  It is a privilege to be His child and to do His work. It wasn’t really that long of an argument with myself about whether or not to go – but I hesitated and God did not.  He had something to accomplish and the moment was right then.  The woman wasn’t going to stay at the altar all morning and pray.

When God said “Go to Africa.”  I said ok.  But I didn’t realize until that Sunday how much He does not NEED me to go to Africa.  His Will will be accomplished with or without me. There are many other lessons to be learned through this trip, but I pray that my hesitation to obedience won’t be one them.  I want to see the moment, the need – the urgency.  I want to be obedient.  However, obedience takes practice.  Practice listening to the Holy Spirit – even in the little things.

The Bible says “in our weakness, He is strong.”  I will depend on His strength to help me be obedient because I really don’t like the sound of SPLAT!

Jesus said many times in the New Testament that we are to take care of the poor and needy.  In our world right now there are plenty of poor and needy.

There are flood victims here in middle Tennessee that still need help.

There are homeless in many of our cities.

There are orphans everywhere – here and abroad.

I am going to Africa, and we will need supplies to take with us for the orphange.

I’m sure there are people right in our back doors that we miss everyday that are desperate for our help and our love.

Find somewhere – someone to help.  There are lots of ways to give.   Please keep checking this blog, in the coming days (Sunday) I will publish a list of needs.  These are items that we will need to pack and take to Africa.

Please be in prayer this week for the children that we will be ministering to.

Please also be in prayer for the flood victims.   Some have lost everything.   And if you are about to have a yard sale maybe look through and see if you have any household items to give to those who have lost all the basics like a toaster and a hair dryer.

We have lots of GREAT BIG needs out there – it’s a good thing we have a GREAT BIG GOD!

Much Love!

Darlene

Today my heart is heavy. I have been on the verge of tears all day.  I am finally at the end of the day where I can be alone with my thoughts and my heart.

I read about orphanges being closed.  I read about Ugandan men or women who suddenly die and then all their children are orphans.  Who comforts them? Who takes them in? Does anyone feed them? Does anyone know they have been left alone?  The answer to all the questions is God.  There are many problems and I am under no illusions that we are going to solve those problems with one mission trip to Uganda.  But God has the answers.  And what we will do will help some of them.  So today I’m trying to help my heart be ok to help the ones I know I can help and leave the rest up to God.

Because I’m honest when I say, “I don’t understand, Lord.”  And at the same time, I know there are things I am not meant to understand.  ”His plans for us are not to harm us but plans for a hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11  His plan for a hope for these children is a God-sized hope because the things that these kids deal with are things that would put many adults simply out of commission emotionally. God is my Rock, my Refuge, and my Strength. God is ___________ (orphan’s name) Rock, and Refuge, and strength. He knows each of their names and I praise Him for that.

On the praise side of things – our Pastor, Jay, and his wife Tanya left today to go to another county to pick up the little boy that they are adopting.  Many people from our church wrote verses and cards to send with them to read on their trip.  My sweet friend, LeighAnn, showed me a verse that she found to write on their card and it has been all I have been able to read today.

Ps. 68:4-6

“Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds – his name is the Lord – and rejoice before him. 5 A Father to the Fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling. 6 God set the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”

You can see how this verse applies to the praise of a little boy receiving a family and how it applies to the orphans who have no where to go.  I’m so glad that God is God, but this feels too much for my heart at the moment.

He is planting things in my heart and I need your prayers that He will clarify what that is and that I will trust Him and obey Him.

Much Love!

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Have you ever dipped your finger in warm soup to taste, or maybe cake batter, or  _____________. (you fill in the blank). Whatever bowl of food you dipped into, I will bet that you didn’t dip your finger until the ingredients were at least stirred up. I feel like God has stirred up so many things in my life right now.  They are not all great.  But if you are stirring up chocolate chip cookies you are not going to taste the baking soda by iteself, right?  No, you are going to wait until it is mixed up to make that smooth batter wrapped around each little chocolate chip. That is exactly the way life feels right now.  The Lord is soooooooooooooooo good! Things in my life are not perfect, but I believe that God allows things to be in my life to help mold me and make me into who HE wants me to be. Were I to taste of those things by themselves, they would not be good.  As God himself adds ingredients to my life and begins to stir, only something sooooo delicious could be what comes of it.  Psalm 34:8 says “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.”

God began to stir and as of late has added ingredients or should I say situations or circumstances that are simply making life sweet: missions in general (not just this trip), deeper relationships with my children, His word in a new light, a broken heart of someone close to me, a need of many that are close to me, breaking my heart for these orphans, my Bible Study girls, stretching me to ask others for help, our new church, my extended family’s health, my LifeGroup, the continued blessing of my husband – these and many more are the ingredients in my life and I can say that “the Lord is good.”  ”Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.”  Psalm 40:5

My heart is so overwhelmed today at the Lord’s goodness.  I am 2/3 of the way of having the trip paid for.  I am hoping to have a bake sale on Sat. and have some items for sale that will contribute to the trip.  Please pray along with me, that those items will sell and that the bake sale will be well attended.

I hope God is adding new ingredients everyday to your life — bitter and sweet – and that you will “taste and see that the Lord is good.”

Much love!

Yeah!!!  My passport has been mailed, so it will make it here in plenty of time to meet the deadline of getting the Visas from Uganda!

And I was able to get my passport number this morning so that Sweet Sleep can go ahead and book my flight.

This is all very good.  I got the final cost of the trip last night.  I am about 1/3 of way having the trip paid for, so please continue with me in prayer about that.

Also please pray for good weather the first half of Saturday in Alabama so that we can have a yard sale with my mom as a fundraiser for the trip.

Thanks friends!!!  Much love!

I had the first set of three sets of shots last Friday.  I had the first Hep A and B and Yellow Fever. The Yellow Fever caused my legs to ache something awful for about 3 days.  I have to get the second Hep A and B and Thyphoid this week.  Then in two weeks I will get the third Hep A and B and Meningococcal Meningitis.  My prayer request is that these subsequent shots won’t make me sick.

I thought Meningitis was like the Chickenpox, if you have had it you are more immune to it.  Well this is not true, in some cases you are more susceptible to getting Meningitis again if you have already had it.  I had Meningitis in college and I’d really like to NOT get it again. I realize this shot is to protect from that, but please pray with me for God’s protection over this.  It’s not a huge fear but it’s been in the back of my mind since I found this out on Friday.

And I’m still on the fundraising trail.   It seems like cost keep popping up that I wasn’t expecting when I said I would go – like the cost of prescriptions that I must take with me.

Then again, if I’m truly honest about this, had I known every cost involved before I said yes to God, I might have said no.  You know, come to think about it, He already knew this about me and that’s why I’m just now finding out some of the costs.  So we are back to God’s whisper “Are you going to believe me or not?”

Sometimes I have to laugh (to keep from getting frustrated) at the number of times I tell my 3 year old to do something before he gets it.  God must be having a good chuckle right now at my expense.

I do appreciate your prayers and your willingness to take this journey with me.  Much love!

I actually wrote this a few days ago and had decided not to post it.  Last night I was talking to my friend, Amy, and she was talking about how she was cleaning out, trying to get rid of more than she ever had before.  She used the exact phrase I had written in the post, “I feel like all I do is manage my stuff.”  And she was thinking along the same lines as the conclusion of this post.  So here it is – enjoy reading!

Why is that cleaning out your house also cleans out your mind? It is such a mental relief to get stuff out of our way. For me, this has taken on many different methods over the years.  I’ll never forget when I first started, we had been married for awhile and there were household items from when we first married that I didn’t want anymore.  My style had changed, I now had two children and some things were just not practical.  I also wanted to simplify life.   So I literally started in one corner of the house and went through every room.  It took a few weeks.  By the time I got finished, I felt like  I needed to do it all over again.

I will admit the first time that I cleaned out so drastically, most of the stuff made it to my garage.  When my garage got too full, I a huge yard sale.  After that I faithfully had one every spring and sometimes fall.  I felt that I had gotten pretty good at keeping things cleaned out, but I STILL always had stuff.   It perplexed me that I could sell so much and turn around and within just a few months I had more stuff.   I’m honestly not a spendaholic, you can ask my hubby.  :-)  But I do have a large, generous family and they were always giving me stuff.

First I had to admit that although I’m not a spendaholic, I had to take a look at the stuff that I did buy that I didn’t really need.  The hardest part of breaking the “stuff” thing in my life was to find a way to very politely and kindly thank my family for thinking of me but to say “no” when necessary.  When we moved four years ago we had a large yard sale. It was fantastic not to have to move that “stuff.”

I committed at that moment that I would not let our new house get into this state.  I was determined to park in my garage (which I still do), something we didn’t do at our old house. (of course our old house had a small one car garage.)  So with the current house came the 3rd child and yep – you guessed it – more stuff.

Well, I’ve honed my cleaning out skills again and though they are far from perfect, still came in handy in this last stage of cleaning out.  I’ve done consignment the last four years and kept the kids toys and clothes weeded through, but OH MY GOODNESS stuff still accumulates.

This time it was different.  We got rid of books, clothes, and wires (don’t ask me what kind, I have not the slightest idea.  B just said they didn’t match anything we had so I took the opportunity to get rid of it.), we got rid of so much.  It was wonderful.  And I was able to make some money to go on my mission trip.

So now we are to the heart of my thoughts today.  I’m praying that the Lord will help me be more “stuffless”.  I don’t want my mind or my life, or my house for that matter, to be cluttered again because it keeps my thoughts occupied.  If my thoughts are occupied with stuff then they are not occupied with things that are eternal.  I want to be about the business of helping my neighbor, praying for my friends, loving my family, and bringing glory to God.   And no, I don’t do that right now as much as I should… and sometimes it’s because I’m too busy managing my stuff.

I will still allow my children to have things.  I’m not going to force my husband to get rid of something that holds significance for him.  But there has to be a healthy way, a Godly way to deal with this stuff.  I am about to go to Africa, where a bouncy ball would be a prized possession.

So I will keep searching God’s Word and praying to figure out how to be reasonable and Godly about our stuff.  I am praying  for you too to find ways to be “stuffless.”

OH MY GOODNESS – shots are sooooooo expensive.  I was worried and overwhelmed by this information from our missions meeting last week.  I didn’t even think about shots, much less the cost associated with them.   There are so many shots recommended for Uganda that it is going to cost about $600.  For someone like me who’s never been out of the country, that means I have had none of them.   Ouch! already.

Most everyone at the meeting said their shots were not covered by insurance, and so I took their word that they aren’t covered.  So today I’m doing research calls trying to find the cheapest place to get them and find out exactly which ones I have to have.   When it was like God just said – “I told you to go, I told you I will take care of everything.  Are you going to believe me or not?”  Well okay, God just get right to the point.  So instead of calling to make an appointment to have the shots I find myself calling my insurance company – MY SHOTS ARE COVERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously all I have to pay is the co-pay.  Now I’m overwhelmed in a completely different way.  I’m confessing to the Lord and asking Him to help my unbelief.  There is no facet of my life that deserves the blessings He is pouring out on me today. It is a worship that is undescribable. I am floored, enamored…..and completely humbled by God’s love.

On the other hand I get a call from my mom. She has found a lump in her breast, and the doctor confirmed it.  She is going for tests in the morning.  And still the question resonates in head and in my heart “Are you going to believe me or not?”  After today I know that I have no other options BUT to believe Him.  I don’t know God’s will for my mom, but I must trust His love not only for me but for her.  I am praying first for her peace over the next few days and for her healing.  I will appreciate any intercessory prayer on her behalf.  Again the tests are tomorrow, and she won’t know the results until next Monday.

Thanks for celebrating and praying with me all in the same breath.

My heart  feels all over the place today and I find myself really glad it’s 5 pm.  I don’t know how much more of today I can take.

It seems everyday God has shown through others and/or His Word, that I should take this trip.

My 11 yr. old daughter comes in tonight and says, “Mom, you know when you told us about you going to Africa and you read that verse  from James, “Faith without action is dead?”"   “Yes, honey I remember why?”  ”Well, I wanted to encourage you that it’s good that you decided to go because in James 4:17 is says, “Anyone, then who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”"

And there you have it.

end

I can remember (at a younger age) being in a restaraunt with girlfriends, and when one had to go to the bathroom, we all went.  I don’t why.  I don’t think any girl knows why, we just do it.  However with maturity that fades, thankgoodness. :-)

I am so grateful for this Bible study group that I am in.  They and our study challenges me to constantly check my walk with the Savior.  Sometimes I don’t like what I see.  God’s bringing me to the point of submission to go to Africa has been an emotional journey for me.  I had a fear in the beginning of this journey. One of my girlfriends challenged me to put a name on the fear that I was having and confess it to the Lord.  So I have tried to identify it.  I was afraid of going alone on this trip.  Yes, it’s true, me, who will stop and talk to complete strangers is afraid to go alone.  Usually I’m in a familiar or safe surroundings when I do talk to complete strangers.

I know I will not be alone, I will be with a group of people.  I wanted so bad to email the leader and say who is going on this trip.  I kinda felt like the young girl who wanted my friends to go to the bathroom with me.  Why couldn’t my husband be going with me.  OR Ok, ok if not a group of friends, I’ll take just one.  Right now the only one I know on this trip, is the Lord.  God, please help my faith!  God sweetly whispered, “Some trusts in chariots (relationships), some in horses (friends), but you trust in the name of the Lord.”  (Ok friends, please don’t be offended that the word “friends” is in the place of  ”horses”. :0  )

I think, “Ok, I will trust you, Lord, but sometimes it’s hard.” I haven’t exactly found a scripture for this one, but I know I heard God say, “yes, it is, now quit whining and let’s move on, we have more to do.”  :-)

When my husband got to go to Thailand a couple of years ago, tons of our friends went.  He not only got to serve but he had a wonderful time.  Sounds like I’m jealous doesn’t it.  I’m not, I was really glad that he got to go.  And I can’t compare what he experienced to what God has in store for me.  This is a different time, a different trip, and a different set of circumstances.  Oswald Chambers wrote, “Never make a principle out of your experiences; let God be as original with other people as He is with you.”  Francis Chan added, “Be careful not to turn others’ lives into the mold for your own.”

I can’t go on anyone else’s experience.  I have to go on my own alone, well, not alone with God alone.  So I learning to trust God on a new level and give Him my fear of going alone.  So I submitted, ” I will go with you Lord.”

The day after I shared with my LifeGroup that I felt God wanted me to go, I got an email from a sweet friend in the group saying that she was feeling the same thing.   I got an email from her today that she is definitely going. After I emailed many of you to ask for prayers, I got an email from another dear friend asking questions about Africa and said that it has been on her heart.

OH MY GOODNESS! God is just the coolest guy I know.  And look at how he loves me.  I am overwhelmed. I want so bad to grab each of you and make you understand how much God love you, loves me, loves us.  But you will have to learn this on your own.  I know that I have only begun to grasp the tip of His love.  ”Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.”  (Ps. 40:5)

The peace I had from just submitting to go, with still a little  trembling, is not something I could describe.  But I know that I want to know that peace for trusting him more and more each day. I want to thirst for God.

A quote from the last chap of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. “”.. Anne Dillard once said, “How we live our days is … how we live our lives.”  We each need to discover for oursleves how to live this day in faithful surrender to God as we “continue to work out (our) salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12).”

God really is the coolest guy I know.