Friday was the first day of the homeschool tutorial that my kids are taking this Fall. I was excited and a little nervous because it’s our first tutorial and I’m teaching a class there. However, on the way out this morning, I passed all the moms standing at the bus stop still talking after the bus had gone. The thought went through my head, “You are going to get to spend the whole day by yourself.” I brushed it away, not wanting to be distracted and went about my day.
After tutorial, the kids and I ran some errands, by the time we pulled back into the neighborhood, the same group of moms was waiting for the bus to come home.(And no, I don’t think they had been standing there all day.) Again I had the thought, “You got to spend all day by yourself.” I asked the Lord to forgive my jealous thoughts and was immediately guilt ridden for feeling that way.
When I got home I called and talked to my best friend about my thoughts, she brought out a few things that I needed to think about. And yes, I felt much better after talking with her. See the issue was not my jealousy (God dealt with that separately. ) or how my children were educated. I was one of those moms, for 5 years my children attended public school. And if I wasn’t at the school helping, I was feeling guilty because I couldn’t get there that day to help or assist, or go on the field trip.
It seems that no matter what my choices are as a mom, Satan is on the prowl to steal my joy. So the real questions here is not to homeschool or public school, but rather, “Am I going to allow Satan to steal my joy as a mom – period?” Because Satan will attack in any area of your “mom life.” Well, for me the answer is a resounding “NO!”
No, I do not have all the answers. No, I do not make every decision with complete confidence. No, I don’t get my housecleaned everyday. No, I don’t handle every situation with patience and a calm voice. No, I don’t get it right all the time.(whatever “it” is) No, I don’t wish for time by myself everyday. And No, sometimes I don’t listen to God like I should over what the world seems to be screaming at me.
I do love my children. I do try to set an example of how God loves, hopefully demonstrating that lesson to my kids (somedays are better than others). I do pray about most decisions in life. I do spend time teaching my kids and therefore sometimes the house has to be let go. I do try to get away from the world screaming in an effort to hear God more clearly. And I do know that I am a sinner saved by grace and that for that fact alone, God loves me and guilt does not have to be a part of everyday life.
So NO, Satan you can not have my joy! I am MOM and My God is the Lion, hear Him roar!