I can remember (at a younger age) being in a restaraunt with girlfriends, and when one had to go to the bathroom, we all went. I don’t why. I don’t think any girl knows why, we just do it. However with maturity that fades, thankgoodness. :-)
I am so grateful for this Bible study group that I am in. They and our study challenges me to constantly check my walk with the Savior. Sometimes I don’t like what I see. God’s bringing me to the point of submission to go to Africa has been an emotional journey for me. I had a fear in the beginning of this journey. One of my girlfriends challenged me to put a name on the fear that I was having and confess it to the Lord. So I have tried to identify it. I was afraid of going alone on this trip. Yes, it’s true, me, who will stop and talk to complete strangers is afraid to go alone. Usually I’m in a familiar or safe surroundings when I do talk to complete strangers.
I know I will not be alone, I will be with a group of people. I wanted so bad to email the leader and say who is going on this trip. I kinda felt like the young girl who wanted my friends to go to the bathroom with me. Why couldn’t my husband be going with me. OR Ok, ok if not a group of friends, I’ll take just one. Right now the only one I know on this trip, is the Lord. God, please help my faith! God sweetly whispered, “Some trusts in chariots (relationships), some in horses (friends), but you trust in the name of the Lord.” (Ok friends, please don’t be offended that the word “friends” is in the place of ”horses”. :0 )
I think, “Ok, I will trust you, Lord, but sometimes it’s hard.” I haven’t exactly found a scripture for this one, but I know I heard God say, “yes, it is, now quit whining and let’s move on, we have more to do.” :-)
When my husband got to go to Thailand a couple of years ago, tons of our friends went. He not only got to serve but he had a wonderful time. Sounds like I’m jealous doesn’t it. I’m not, I was really glad that he got to go. And I can’t compare what he experienced to what God has in store for me. This is a different time, a different trip, and a different set of circumstances. Oswald Chambers wrote, “Never make a principle out of your experiences; let God be as original with other people as He is with you.” Francis Chan added, “Be careful not to turn others’ lives into the mold for your own.”
I can’t go on anyone else’s experience. I have to go on my own alone, well, not alone with God alone. So I learning to trust God on a new level and give Him my fear of going alone. So I submitted, ” I will go with you Lord.”
The day after I shared with my LifeGroup that I felt God wanted me to go, I got an email from a sweet friend in the group saying that she was feeling the same thing. I got an email from her today that she is definitely going. After I emailed many of you to ask for prayers, I got an email from another dear friend asking questions about Africa and said that it has been on her heart.
OH MY GOODNESS! God is just the coolest guy I know. And look at how he loves me. I am overwhelmed. I want so bad to grab each of you and make you understand how much God love you, loves me, loves us. But you will have to learn this on your own. I know that I have only begun to grasp the tip of His love. ”Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” (Ps. 40:5)
The peace I had from just submitting to go, with still a little trembling, is not something I could describe. But I know that I want to know that peace for trusting him more and more each day. I want to thirst for God.
A quote from the last chap of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. “”.. Anne Dillard once said, “How we live our days is … how we live our lives.” We each need to discover for oursleves how to live this day in faithful surrender to God as we “continue to work out (our) salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12).”
God really is the coolest guy I know.