Let's Talk

Friday was the first day of the homeschool tutorial  that my kids are taking this Fall.  I was excited and a little nervous because it’s our first tutorial and I’m teaching a class there.  However, on the way out this morning, I passed all the moms standing at the bus stop still talking after the bus had gone.  The thought went through my head, “You are going to get to spend the whole day by yourself.” I brushed it away, not wanting to be distracted and went about my day.

After tutorial, the kids and I ran some errands, by the time we pulled back into the neighborhood, the same group of moms was waiting for the bus to come home.(And no, I don’t think they had been standing there all day.)  Again I had the thought, “You got to spend all day by yourself.”  I asked the Lord to forgive my jealous thoughts and was immediately guilt ridden for feeling that way.

When I got home I called and talked to my best friend about my thoughts, she brought out a few things that I needed to think about. And yes, I felt much better after talking with her. See the issue was not my jealousy (God dealt with that separately. ) or how my children were educated. I was one of those moms, for 5 years my children attended public school.  And if I wasn’t at the school helping, I was feeling guilty because I couldn’t get there that day to help or assist, or go on the field trip.

It seems that no matter what my choices are as a mom, Satan is on the prowl to steal my joy.   So the real questions here is not to homeschool or public school, but rather, “Am I going to allow Satan to steal my joy as a mom – period?” Because Satan will attack in any area of your “mom life.”  Well, for me the answer is a resounding “NO!”

No, I do not have all the answers.  No, I do not make every decision with complete confidence. No, I don’t get my housecleaned everyday. No, I don’t handle every situation with patience and a calm voice. No, I don’t get it right all the time.(whatever “it” is)   No, I don’t wish for time by myself everyday. And No, sometimes I don’t listen to God like I should over what the world seems to be screaming at me.

BUT

I do love my children. I do try to set an example of how God loves, hopefully demonstrating that lesson to my kids (somedays are better than others). I do pray about most decisions in life.  I do spend time teaching my kids and therefore sometimes the house has to be let go.  I do try to get away from the world screaming in an effort to hear God more clearly.  And I do know that I am a sinner saved by grace and that for that fact alone, God loves me and guilt does not have to be a part of everyday life.

So NO, Satan you can not have my joy!  I am MOM and My God is the Lion, hear Him roar!

I have started this post a dozen times and it’s been in my drafts folder for almost 2 months now.  To sum up what I feel about Africa, well I have decided that it would be almost impossible. There are things that God spoke to my heart in Africa that He didn’t use words to speak.  So to put them into words for someone else, I can’t, I don’t the words to describe.  The emotions I have felt since being home really surprised me in some ways.  Then in other ways  I have so much more to learn about God.  I will be processing this for some time.  I am not as emotional as I was when I first came home.  However, I am still “caught” at times by the thoughts that invade moments that from the outside have no connection with Africa.

I will say this  - for you my family and friends – I pray that you get to know God more.  That may or may not be a mission trip to a foreign country, it may be something profound that he wants you to do here – right where you are. Wherever it is, whatever it is, listen closely – I’ve never heard God scream.

Birthday party in the dining hall.

Today is the day for the Birthday Party.  We are giving them a birthday party because many of these children never get to celebrate their birthdays.

When we arrived we headed down to the prayer garden (have I mentioned that I love this place!  And I am thanking the Lord that we have one more time to join in worship there.) for worship with the kids.  It’s kind of a given now, that they lead in some songs, and we lead in some songs and it works beautifully.

Praying

Testimony

Worship in the prayer garden.

While we were having worship, some of the team members were up at the dining hall decorating for the birthday party. When we were finished with worship we went back up the hill and all gathered ready for a party. Jen Gash explained what a Birthday party was and then we distributed gifts.  The little kids started getting their gifts first and the bigger kids helped them look through their bags. Once they saw what they were getting they started singing “We will no more suffer, we will no more suffer, we will not beg for bread.”  There are no words to describe that moment.

Gift bags for the kids.

Kids with their gifts.

The kids sang for us again. This time Jen had her cameras charged and ready to go. They sang their thank you song again.   I just can’t wait for you to see the video.

When I thought we were about to pack up and go, they asked us to all come to the front.  Then they proceeded to give us these little change purses that they had made out of banana stalks.  Later at lunch Mama gave each of us girls a prayer mat and each of the men a hat.

Anthony also spoke before we left and I really enjoyed listening to him. He said, “We know that it took months of preparation for you to come. We know it was much work of the hands and of the knees. And we know that involved more than just your hands and knees.”

Anthony and Josephine

You can also see in the shot above the sheet that the kids made.  We traced their handprints with a marker and they wrote their names in the palms.

Jen and Stuart talked to the group much earlier this morning to remind us that although bonds were made, our crying will do nothing to help these children. It was hard enough for us not to cry and then some of the children started to cry. A young lady named Scovia, about 14 yrs. cried the hardest.

I have alot to process from this week, but right now I can tell you for sure – I will never be the same.

Maria gave me a second letter. Look at the art work!

When we arrived this morning at the orphanage the kids had prepared a whole program for us.  And they took us back to the prayer garden, this is just a special place. I wish everyone of you could sit beneath those trees.  They lead us in worship. Wow, God is great!!!!!!  There were four different singing groups that sang and then the older boys put on a play.  It was the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo.  In the pics you see King Nebbacaneezer, the statue, and a little boy with a white sheet and that is God in the fire with them. (double smile)  I loved it!

Auntie Deborah taught us a new song.  She came to Tyler and I and wanted to know if he could find the chords on his guitar.  We had a fabulous time learning the song from her and helping to teach it to the kids. The words were “Isn’t it good to know the Lord. Isn’t it good to praise his name.  Isn’t it good to know that he’s always there for us.  Isn’t it good to know the Lord.”   Yes, it is!

Auntie Deborah interprets for Amanda.

A little boy named Geoffrey, brought me a gift today.  What a precious little man.  He seems to have the kindest heart. He opened this paper like it was dipped in gold and he said “Auntie Doreen, it is a rabbit.”  I think I smiled all over.  I told him, “It is beautiful and I would keep it and remember to pray for him.  (If you missed an earlier post – all the kids call me Auntie Doreen because they can not say the “L” in the middle of my name.)

Geoffrey and me.

I had a great conversation with one of the younger teachers today.  He wanted to know everything from what kind of animals we have in American to how long it took us to get here. He asked about the types of houses we have and about our traffic. He asked about our politics and so much more.  Of course I asked him just as many questions. It was really fun to talk with him.

I found out today that Maria wants to be a bank manager and that she has been at the orphanage since she was 8. Geoffrey wants to be a pilot that takes people from place to place.  This is an important distinction because it means not a military pilot.  We worked really hard for several minutes on actually saying the word “pilot” and not “pirate.”  Of you course you can hear the similarities in the words.  (smile)

At lunch today, we discussed turkeys.  One teacher is pretty sure they have turkeys, but after hearing his description of them, I’m not so sure.

We reviewed all three scripture songs today.  I really think they are going to know them.  This is a big blessing to me.  Besides beds, I wanted to leave them with scripture that they knew and just a new tangible example of God’s love.  And yet, I’m  finding that I’m the one who’s been given the example.

We had time to get the Birthday Party Bags together tonight after dinner before tomorrow’s party.  The whole team is really looking forward to this tomorrow.

Got up with the crying birds again this morning.  I’m glad that we have the long, long drive out to the orphanage to snooze just a bit.  If you can have a little snooze it helps when you get there.  Three days ago you could’ve never convinced me that I would be thankful for that drive at any time. (smile)

Today at the orphanage we had some games that we wanted to teach the kids.  We taught them kickball, baseball, frisbee, jumpropes, and played with blow up beach balls with the little kids. Tyler and I were in charge of Frisbees.  We had a good time with the kids and the frisbees.  They grasped quickly the correct way to throw it and wanted to do it by themselves.  So we paired them up and let them play for a while.  Now over in another section, the team members said that they did not grasp kickball.  One girl said that it was much harder to explain than she thought it would be and the interpreter couldn’t be at every station, so at times we all had to figure out the simplest words to communicate.  I also watched the girls practice for their relay races caring an empty glass coke bottle on their heads. So I practiced too.  I’m not terrible, but I’m not as good as these young ladies.  Too bad, I don’t have the pictures yet to post.   :-)

Right after lunch we took our worship time down to the prayer garden.  This is a rock path running down a hillside with a rock wall  running across the path.  If you look at from down the mountain you see a cross.  It is underneath  a canopy of trees and one of the most peaceful places I have ever sat.  Worship was different here.   The holy spirit truly came and just filled that space under the canopy.   I had heard a few children the day before singing “Lord you are more precious than silver…….”.  So when I told the guys, we decided to add that to the worship time.  Watching these kids sing and worship  to lyrics that they truly understood was an experience I would experience it again in a heart beat.   It has to be some of the purest worship that I had the privileged to be apart of and also the most humbled I have ever been to have been in that place.

A group leading in worship.

One of the scriptures we thought most important to teach the children was Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who he’s given us.

We taught them this scripture in song and a couple of their young boys gave us a great beat on the drums.  It was so fun, and cool, and well…. it was just the Lord.

Drums. Awesome!

Maria saw some pictures of my family.  She kept asking me everyone’s names.  After only a couple of minutes many of the older girls were gathered around.  They all wanted to know the names of each person. As soon as I would say the name they would repeat it.  Ok, so I must stop here and explain that they write their last names first and then their first names on everything: their bibles, their papers and letters to us, everything.  So everytime they would ask me the name of my middle child I would say, “RileyGrace” and they would repeat “Grace”.  So I would say it again and they would still only say “Grace”.  It finally hit me that they think her last name is Riley.  I had a good little chuckle out of this.

Mama had lunch again.  It is really hard to say no to Mama but it was also very hard to eat like that when you are sooooooooooooooooooo hot.   I did eat but very small portions, but I kept praying the whole time that she would not be offended. But my stomach doesn’t feel right, and hasn’t for any meal today.

For crafts this afternoon, we made bookmarks with the kids that included the scriptures we were teaching them.  These were printed off on cardstock and the kids simply glued them to the book marks. We also had beads and string for them to make necklaces.  This was a huge hit!

Then they called all of us together and the choir had some songs to sing for us.  They had come up with their own thankyou song to Sweet Sleep.  It was great!  It was fantastic! and I can’t wait to put up a link to the video so that all of you can see it.   It was too much fun!!

Here’s something that I have been very  surprised about – I’m having  hard time finding alone time with God.  I’ve been trying to at least have some time at bedtime, but I’m asleep before I can finish reading or praying.  Getting up before the crying birds is simply not going to happen because that is the time of morning that I am finally truly asleep.  It seems that every minute of our day is packed.  So I find myself praying these short little sentences prayers throughout the day. I know this is ok, but I am craving time alone with God. I was determined last night to have some time before I went to bed.   I felt just like the disciples in the garden, I could not stay awake.  I kept falling asleep and then I would wake up and  pray a little more.  After a few times of this cycle, I started to laugh at myself and climbed into bed and went to sleep.  Jesus knows exactly the physical state of my body and what I have been doing all day.  I decided at that moment to simply rest in His love.  Proverbs 3:24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid, when you lie down your sleep will be sweet.

Yesterday, these very weird birds, that sound like babies crying, woke us up.  Well this morning, we must have been sleeping so well, that we slept through the birds. So we got a little late start but made it to breakfast and still left with the team on time.  I think we have an alarm figured out for tomorrow, since neither Rachel or I thought to bring one. (smile)

When we got to the orphanage today, Auntie Irene’s plans were different from ours.  (Like I said yesterday, good to have a plan – didn’t know if we would get to use it.)  The orphanage is divided up into four houses.  Each house had representatives for each of the games that the teachers had for the kids. These games were supposed to support that it was the week of the World Cup.

Morning Assembly

Preschool boys race.

Preschool girls race.

At the end of the games for the kids, the teachers invited the missionaries to play net ball.  Net Ball is a game with a ball, no net, and you do not dribble, or run when you have the ball.  The net is a steel ring on a pole.  Once you are at the net, you do not jump to shoot you simple shoot or push the ball up with your hand.   The most important thing I learned about this game is that you must go to the bathroom before you play. (double smile)

Because they do not understand as much English as I thought they could understand, I greatly simplified some of the moves to the movement songs that we did, they stayed right with us today.  Some of them really like to do the fun songs.

We taught Phillipians 4:13 today by a rhythm.  We snapped as we said it and then reviewed the “Love the Lord your God” Scripture song from yesterday.  They are taking to both very well.  Tomorrow we will introduce Romans 5:5.

I really miss my family.  I knew that I would, but didn’t truly factor into my brain not being able to talk to them at all.

The pictures of the kids show that their uniforms look nice, but there is much that you do not see in the pictures.  Their uniforms are wore out.  The seams are coming out of the sides, their sweaters are badly frayed, and the boys are lucky if they have two buttons on their shirts.  None of their shoes fit like they should.  They are definitely in need of much more than beds. Their classrooms are very small.  Their dining room is nothing more than a shelter, poles and a tin roof.

We gave the kids Bibles today and Maria wrote her name in her Bible and then she wrote “My Gift”.  It was such a sweet moment.  There was this one little boy, who immediately went off by himself to sit and read and look at his Bible.  They are so hungry for God’s word.  They are taught about God, but until today did not have their own copy of the Bible.

Maria and me.

We were in a traffic jam today with a herd of bulls. No one seemed to mind and the bulls had the right of way. The herders by the way were kids.

Rachel is a great roommate!

This was encouragement night, where your team members get to tell you things that  affirm you.  I wanted to run away, this is hard to take.  Much easier to give  compliments to the others.

Found out today that Boda Bodas are twice as much as the taxi vans because they are so much faster to get where you are going. Our interpreter said that the trick to riding the Boda Boda taxi (motocycles) was to make sure that you did not get an intoxicated driver.  I think I’ll just stay on the bus.  (smile)

This was a very full day and we are very tired. Shouldn’t have any trouble getting to sleep.  No one here uses fitted sheets – they don’t really know what they are. This is very interesting to me.

I only thought I knew how to pray until we came here. Their prayers are pure – they are worshp. I pray that God will teach me this.

New Driver today – so my hopes started out high. He’s is a little bit better driver, but the manners of driving here are just different than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

The kid’s English is not as good as I thought it would be. When we told a Bible story today, we had to have an interpreter. They seem to like the scripture song – “Love, love, love the Lord. Love the Lord your God. Love him with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.”  I really feel that if we can leave them with 3 scriptures by the end of the week, that would be the most impactful to them.

There was a little hot water in our shower today.  Well, it still wasn’t a hot shower, it wasn’t even luke water, but it wasn’t freezing cold like yesterday.  This is a smile for me today.

We were not sure when we got up this morning, that the beds would actually be ready by today.  They were.  When we arrived the beds had all been left on the lawn.  We had to match up the numbers to find the top bunks that matched the bottom bunks.  The mattress truck came about mid day.  The truck with the sheet, blankets, and Bibles came while we finished unloading mattresses.  This was very chaotic, but very exciting.

What they were sleeping on.

New beds.

New Mattresses.

New Sheets, blankets and bibles.

New beds makes smiles.

When we arrived yesterday the four team members from Indiana did not have luggage.  Today they were notified that it was located.  We are praying it arrives tomorrow.

I think tomorrow we are going to do some recreation, but plans are not really concrete for any day.  I that’s is supposed to be good, but it feels a little out of sorts for me.  We do have a plan, but we are not sure we will be able to use it. Here is the reality meaning of trust and flexibility.

We came into a real airport in Entebbe.  Once we left Entebbe, we drove one hour north to the capital city of Kampala.  OK, first of all these people drive CRAZY.  I see now that this is just the way it is here.  But I caught my breath a few times and had to cover my eyes more than once.  (smile)  There were whole families on mototcycles – they call these Boda Bodas.

My eyes and heart are completely overwhelmed at the poverty. I’m going to have to think about this some.

I do miss my family.  I have complete confidence that God will take care of them.  But I have no cell phone service and have found out that the computer at the house where we are staying is on a dial-up connection and slow as Christmas.  With 15 of us to email and blog communication maybe minimal.  We’ll see.

I really hope I can sleep tonight.  I’m not a person who functions well, with little sleep.  But I’m trusting God will take care of this or help me.

I’m really grateful to God that Rachel came on this trip.  Getting to know my other team members is going to be fun.  But well, I’m just glad she is here.

Adonai house is nice.    I did get to write about seeing the kids in another post.

Hello everyone from Africa.   Huge praise today – the people with us from Indiana finally got their luggage today!  Praise the Lord!  This was not only a huge answer to prayer, but a huge relief for those who were so glad to have fresh clothes.  (smile)

The beds were completed yesterday.  The kids are doing great with their crafts.  And today we gave each child their own Bible.  Some of the children immediately went by themselves to look and read their Bible.  One 12 yr old girl, named Maria, was writing her name in her Bible.  Under her name, she wrote the name of the orphanage, then the date next, and then she wrote on the next line “My gift.”  They were all split up in groups and so I asked my group what their favorite Bible story was.  They did not understand the word “favorite.”  So I asked, “Do you have a story that means much to you!”  All of a sudden the heads were going up and down and they were telling me their favorite Bible stories.  It was so sweet to hear them tell their version of the stories and the way they would search for the right English words to communicate what they wanted to say.   One young lady kept getting her pronouns confused and would say “she” instead of “he.”  You had to really keep up, but one thing was clear she understood the story and what she was telling me because you could see it in her eyes.  It was wonderful.

Then there is a whole other side.  I had one little girl in my group who could not tell me her story.  That’s because she is not an orphan, but her family pays to send her to school at Blessed Hope (this is part of the way they get the little funding that they get).  The translator talked to her and explained to me that she does not go to prayers.  That is how they explain that she does not go to church.  Her family is Muslim.  So the only place that she will hear the Bible stories is when she comes to school and when she looks at her picture Bible.  I was quite caught by the fact that God brought us all the way to Africa, not only to provide beds for the kids, but that this little girl might have access to a Bible.  That is pretty cool!!!!!

Here are a few interesting things that I have learned.  They make their own bricks. They pack mud into a wooden mold.  The bricks must dry for a month.  Then they stack them in a pyramid shape but it doesn’t come to a point.  They leave space to put wood in the bottom and then they start a fire.  They must keep the fire burning for 2 to 3 days.  After they cool for several days, they are ready to use for building.

I have also learned that they cut down the whole banana tree to harvest the banana bunches.  There are new shoots always coming up in the place of the trees they cut down.  Once the banana blooms appear on the tree, it takes them 6 months to be ready to harvest.   Those are the type of things that help you understand life here. To be such a poverished people, they are amazing in their resourcefulness.

I only thought I knew what poverty was – I have seen true poverty here.  These are truly “the least of these” that Christ tells us to take care of.

The kids are doing well with the movement songs. I have greatly simplified most things that we have done because their English is not very good.  They actually read much better than they speak the English language.  They are doing very well with the scriptures.  I narrowed it down to three.  And so far I know they will know at least two of the three when we leave.  We will teach the third tomorrow.  More than anything, I want to leave them with God’s word hidden in your heart.  So if anything you all can pray that God will help us communicate God’s word in effective ways.

We are having a good time, and the teams works well together. (smile)  Continue to pray for our travel.  The first day, Sunday, was an hour and ten minute drive.  Every day since then, it’s been an hour and forty minutes.  We have a different driver and bus than we had on Sunday, but it’s still pretty bumpy.

The Lord encouraged me greatly today through Psalm 91.  I hope you have time to read it.  A friend sent it to Rachel as an encouragement and she shared it with me.  I’m so glad she did.

Love to you all!!  Brandon, McKenzie, RileyGrace, and Logan I miss you all very much!

Love you,

Mama  (Auntie Doreen)

We have fabulous pics but we are on dial up here and they will not load.  So for now our descriptions will have to do. You can read other team members blog post and mine at Sweetsleep.org

We pulled up to orphanage today and the children were in the middle of play.  They looked up and saw us coming and they ran down the hill to meet us, screaming and cheering.  In point 2 seconds flat my heart was in my eyes.  They were standing so close to the door of the bus that we barely had enough room to get off.   We all started to reach out to touch hands with the kids and say hello and well…..they didn’t let go.  Everywhere we walked we had two or three kids holding our hands on each side.   They took us to the pavilion where they welcomed us and sang for us, and lead us in worship.  It was unbelievable!!!  This little boy named Abraham lead the other children in singing, and they sang, “I won’t beg for bread, I won’t beg for food.” And although I didn’t catch every word because it wasn’t all in English, I have every confidence that they were singing about their trust in the Lord.  Watching the kids faces as they sang, made me wonder if I truly know what trusting the Lord is all about.

The first child to attach to me was Esther.  She didn’t let go of me at all and she’s only been at the orphanage a month.  I was in love instantly!  She kept looking at my hands, while I held her.  She would feel of the front of my hands and then turn them over and look at the other side.

We toured the orphanage and I was amazed.  The first room we saw was the administration room, very small, and very minimal supplies.  Some donated books.  The classrooms were extremely bare. The first dorm room we saw had 25 beds in it and it slept 65 girls.  The next dorm room was much the same.  We saw the boys dorm room and many of them shared beds too, but many of theirs were on the floor. They are just foam mattresses on the floor.  This is something we knew before we arrived but to see it was something different. To put faces on the facts was….well, I just don’t have the words.  The way I teared up when they came running down the hill, I decided to stick a tissue in my pocket would be beneficial.  I kept dabbing at my eyes  all through the afternoon and one of the girls with me, Delphine, asked me what was wrong with my eyes.  I told her that they were just happy.  Her smile was precious and confirmed her understanding.

We are all so tired, it is unbelieveable.  London was great, but I was almost too tired to see it.  We saw the highlights. (smile)    The ride out to the orphanage is very rough.  There are times when I just close my eyes, and hope that we don’t hit what is coming at us.  This has unintentionally provided a bit a humor for some of the team members.  I first sat on the front seat of the bus to keep from getting car sick, however I was very unprepared for the crazy way everyone drives. And there are people everywhere.  I wasn’t always worried about hitting other vehicles, sometimes it was people.  At one point Rachel and I talked about the fact that we will be sore from being beat to death on the ride, and from simply trying to stay in our seats.  I fell asleep today on a shorter subdued portion of the ride home and was quickly awaken when my face hit the seat in front of me.    This is actually a matter of a prayer request for some of the team members (myself included) because of the car sickness that comes from this jolting ride that takes us from the house to the orphanage and back.  It is about an hour and fifteen minutes one way, so it is quite a bit of jolting.

I was prepared for some of what we have experienced and not prepared for some.  I keep reciting a verse that we are teaching to the kids this week – I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,  Phillipians 4:13. And it has never had the meaning that is has today.  May we continue to decrease as Christ increases.

Hi to Brandon and the kids.  I love you and miss you! Thanks mom for being there to help!